Altered

: (adj) to have been placed on an alter; the state of existance after having been changed. 

v. wanna go out to the gazebo?

c.are you drunk or something? that's 1.  2. got any jokes?

v. 1. i wish i were drunk or something  2. i heard that Darwin wasn't always an evolutionist......he just slowly became one.

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v. how are you getting on? living the dream?

 c. I'm decent

I am by no means living the dream, but preparing to do so, I predict my lifes goal to be accomplished within 5 years. I am moving to paris.  thanks for the joke, you are well?

v. wow, dreams in paris. amazing. i'm guessing there's a dreamgirl there, or at least a dream?

I'm altered..?

c. no no no. you are not altered. But, no dreamgirls. I'm just ready to shed my midwestern chains. I will die in paris. that's what I've decided

v. No time soon I hope.  but I like the idea of shedding (and sheds, and cutting wood, etc).

c. probably after a masters in poetry (so like 4 years {with touring etc})

v. You're planning on dying after a masters in poetry? In Paris? Oh, c...

...

v. I'm ready for a big dose of the real life and some personal exploration. school is such a bad place for both

c. no shit

v. When you get to Paris, go to the Catacombs. It is one of the most beautiful and amazing places I have ever, ever been.

c.  I will. and I will probably do nothing else that day. I can't wait

v. I'm excited for you. Though I selfishly hope to see you again someday

c. you probably will. Oh, you moved? holy shit. whats it like living in the city?  is everyone sad all the time... but in like a justified sort of way?

v. it is a totally weird experience. it is this hipster-paradise, the kids who live here, like i do, are chasing this romantic dream that they dreamt while growing up in the suburbs

c. heavy. I mean. I dig the city.  but I have to be honest, it fucking bums me out 

v. I've done a lot of observing on the kind of kids who come to the city to live and love--i was/am one of them--the whole obama campaign was a great time to watch

c. I feel like Its the deep black heart of the midwest/ as if, it is the source of suffering/hell on earth/ a place where mediocre people go to die 

v. the city here is a fallen dream, and we are young and hopeful that we can change it. so we came. to do that. and even in being here, we fail. it's horrible.

c. (as in artistically). it's where the last vintage store will be. and the last customer will be a techno freak

v. you're so right on. and you should  see these heartbreaker/carebears in action. i hang with a lot of 'activists' and they cry on my shoulder. they like the comfort of kleenex and a girl who knows grief

c. whoa. so, how old are you... can you feel times cold grip on your vessel of being?

v. i'm 22 and i have the pleasure of reminding myself to breathe--daily, in front of those who no longer can. i forget to breathe. it's beautiful to be able to remind myself

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v. chasing any ghost these days?  ghost(s)?

c. just girls in nyc. that's about as close as I get. u?

v. I'm not doing any chasing of ghosts anymore, but they still find me sometimes

c. yea? in interesting ways even?

v. only interesting for the ways i let them chase. otherwise, i'm drinking french-press-coffee out of a wine glass at nearly midnight, smoking cigs in my city apartment pretending i'm talking to c. in the zeeb. and remembering that these are the things i want to remember and really be there for. 

be there, be here, see, the same old chase

v. btw, girls and ghosts in NYC will always be girls and ghosts

c. no shit. you'd think I'd know better

v. broken hearts feel the same whether it's love or loss.

c. ghosts dont have hearts

v. mm. but you do.

c. I, am not yet a ghost, true

v. so don't live like one. don't love like one.

c. no shit

v. the beauty of things like this--this conversation, this ghost chase you're on--they come full circle. Emerson would be proud. Listen, c., we evolve. slowly and surely.

c. ha, true

v. and somewhere in evolution is love.